i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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