Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
