We need to rekindle our bromance
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
