i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
