i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
