he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
