Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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