She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
