The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
