Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
