I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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