; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
