New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
