Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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