if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
This baby is an asshole
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
