well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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