i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
