but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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