Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
