One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
