I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
