i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
