White coat. Heels.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
