Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
