I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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