its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
