It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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