He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I deserve this hangover.
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