I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
