Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
