The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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