Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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