Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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