Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
false alarm. still invincible.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
