oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
