On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He shit in the fireplace
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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