I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
