I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
