Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
