No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
