so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
