I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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