On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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