dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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