i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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