Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
