I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Randomize
