It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
