Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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