what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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