Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
