found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My vagina just clenched in fear
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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